Friday, December 23, 2005

SWIM THIS CHRISTMAS


Christmas Eve yet I don’t feel it.

I used to love Christmas. It used to make my heart swell with happiness. I used to count the days. I used to decorate the tree. I used to sing Christmas carols. I used to succumb to the shallow amusement of just watching the lights go blink......blink.......blink...


It wasn’t only because of the presents I will receive but also the anticipation to witness the reactions of my loved ones when they see the gifts I had for them. Each gift was chosen carefully with love and with deep hopes that the receiver will cherish and like it. I saved money like crazy then amaze myself at how many great gifts I was able to buy. The more great gifts, the more happy people I make. The more great gifts, the more I was able to give.


The image so vivid in my head is the time everyone in the family gathers in a circle to sing while giving out presents. Games for the young and old in the family – in teams or individually – gave everyone the right to act like sugar-over-loaded children. Some danced, crawled, ran, cheated, fell, rolled but there was one obvious thing we were all doing – we we’re all laughing. Laughing so hard it brought tears in our eyes. Pure joy was felt.



There was a lot of happiness, a lot of giving, and a lot of love. Love was ambient. I swam in it.... everyone else was swimming too.

It’s been a while since I last had that kind of Christmas. I wonder if I will ever be able to swim in it again.

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